need for speed

i love the latest followup to the coffee craze of energy drinks. it's not really new in the immediate sense... but it has been a growing trend since i first remember seeing red bull cans popping up in college. now, there are vending machines for these drinks, mixed drinks at the bar and too many people who "can't make it through the day and will die without at least one tall boy of amp." we also have more colors than you can shake a stick at and flavors that sound more like tropical or arctic environments than actual tastes.

they all boast brain boosting, muscle enhancing, night-time performance (as shown to the right) and a-d-d counteracting effects but really just taste like cough syrup and do more damage to our teeth and insides than help us jump over tall buildings in a single bound. we're more likely to shake out of our clothes than anything... which may help your sex life or perhaps not.

the other funny part for me to watch is that these power boosting drinks pick up the junkies left in the dust of the mocha madness. anymore, coffee drinkers are more like wine fanatics than caffeine addicts. they pick out their beans or roasts looking for that perfect flavour (yes the spelling is perposeful to show the snootyness of the whole thing)... while the latest group of energy drinking maniacs put aside being picky about the taste and are instead constantly looking for the next biggest fix in a can that will take them to the moon but just shy of cardiac arrest.

what will be interesting is what our next "big" thing will be. oxygen bars are still trying to keep a grip on their small market. but what kind of experience would that be outside of the bar? a can that hisses at you after you open it and you have to inhale as fast as possible as the air escapes into thin air (groan here).

but perhaps with our earth's dwindling potable water resources... the ultimate energy drink will one day again return to good old h2o.